


Love is Pain

by TheGoodKindOfNerdy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Love Triangles, M/M, Mikasa getting in the way, Mikasa kisses Eren in a "sisterly" way, armin is fluffy, but dont hate her, but he gets in the way too, dont hate me, eventual togetherness, hidden love, mikasa is a bith n this, sad levi at some point, swollen hearts, ughmigod, upset eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-01-05 11:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12189483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoodKindOfNerdy/pseuds/TheGoodKindOfNerdy
Summary: Eren loves Levi. Levi loves Eren. but neither of them tell, nor confess.eventual togetherness





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> just an F.Y.I, i'm a primary EreMin shipper but i like this ship too, for angst at least. hope you enjoy.

Love.

 

One of the biggest four letter words. It held so much meaning behind those letters. Love was what made humans happy. it‘s what everyone longs for.

 

Pain.

 

Another big four letter word. Pain was what made humans suffer, whether the pain was pyshicall or mental. Pain is something no one wants.

 

Oddly enough, the two words pair with each other. When someone gets their heart broken. The heart is filled with pain because of love.

 

Or you could be Levi or Eren. who suffer pain because of their love.

 

Captain Levi Ackerman. Levi suffered pain because of his secret love. A love he couldn’t tell anyone about. It was wrong, they were in love with someone else, they’d be disgusted with him, and he was pretty sure they hated him.

 

Titan Shifter Eren Jaeger. Eren felt the constant pain because he thought they’d never love him. He thought his love hated him, he called him a brat, publicly humiliated him, death stared him down. Eren loved them with all his heart, but thought they didn’t love him.

 

Eren Jaeger is in love with Levi Ackerman. Levi Ackerman was in love with Eren Jaeger.

 

But they didn't know. Neither of them did. And they never told.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yada yada, i update a lot cos of short chapters.

Today, Levi was put in charge of training a small group.

 

Armin, Mikasa, Eren, Sasha and Connie.

 

Levi’s eyes roamed over the five, completely skipping over Eren. “Listen up cadets!” Levi yelled. “Today we’ll be re-learning the basics! We want to see if you can still remember the older training and see if you can still pass!! First, balancing.” Levi pointed across the yard to where they had once balanced on the strings.

 

“First up is Mikasa!” Levi shouted out, turning his gaze quickly away from her so his eyes wouldn’t roam to the being next to her. Mikasa hooked up to the strings as she tightened her belt. Levi slowly pulled the strings up and she wobbled the smallest bit but overall stayed upright.

 

Levi nodded, feeling his heart clench as he felt blue eyes lock on him. He nodded as he wrote down as he clipboard.

 

He shouldn’t have looked up. He really shouldn’t’ve.

 

Levi’s heart swole and almost shattered as he saw Mikasa run up to Eren and Armin, giving Eren a huge hug. Mikasa smiled and so did Eren.

 

Levi’s heart hurt and he turned away. “Sasha!” Levi turned to Sasha and face-palmed seeing the girl stress eating a potato. “Sasha! Get set up!” Levi growled.

 

Sasha gulped down the last of her potato and hooked up. “And…” Levi pulled the string up and sasha leaned forward a bit but overall stayed in place.

 

“Ok! Connie!”


	3. PAIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> longer chapter cos you needed it. Levi's heart can't take it anymore.

Eren smiled as Armin told him some story about…..something. Eren couldn’t concentrate. Levi was standing right in front of him, the sun making his pale skin glow, his dark hair would sway occasionally in the wind. 

 

He realized his gaze had lingered too much when Armin snapped his fingers in his face. Eren shook his head a little and blinked. He looked at Armin who was grinning.

 

“Eren likes Levi~~” Armin sang and Eren slapped the back of his head. “Shut up. Someone might hear.” Eren growled. 

 

Armin smiled more as Mikasa ran over to them after she balanced. “Still got it!” she said and hugged Eren. Eren let himself be enveloped in the comforting hug and smiled. His eyes opened to see an angry Levi turning his head away.

 

Wait…. Eren thought but Levi called Sasha up. Eren mentally face-palmed as Mikasa ad Armin actually face-palmed upon seeing the girl eat a potato. 

 

“Sasha! Get set up!” Levi yelled at the girl. Eren’s heart clenched upon hearing Levi’s voice.

 

This was bad. No matter how hard he tried, his feelings never went away. When he, Mikasa and Armin saw him on the horses along with the others, Eren had seen Levi first.

 

And for some reason, he fell in love. He loved Levi without even knowing him, yet he felt like he knew him. 

 

And he had beaten him up. In front of everyone. It was determined. Levi hated Eren. But Eren still loved Levi. 

 

Ere needed help.

 

Suddenly, Armin ran back to the two, Eren hadn’t even realized he’d left. “That was embarrassing!!” Armin cried out, sitting in between Mikasa and Eren. Eren was confused. What had happened? 

 

Not knowing, he still joined Mikasa in turning Armin into a hug sandwich. 

 

“Look at that! Captain Levi totally hates me!” Armin said. Mikasa and Eren looked up to see Levi glaring at Armin. Levi turned his head immediately. 

 

“All you did was forget to tie the one side. You’re fine. And you still stayed up ofr a few seconds eve like that.” Mikasa said.

 

Eren opened his mouth to speak when he was called forth. 

  
  
  


Levi shook his head as the blond fell off. _ He hadn’t hooked himself up correctly _ , Levi thought.  _ There’s gotta be a better way to phrase that… _ Levi turned to see Eren and Mikasa hugging Armin from both sides. 

 

Levi’s jaw tightened as he glared at Armin. Suddenly, Mikasa and Eren both looked at him and he turned his head. 

 

This needed to stop. It really did. His heart needed to stop exploding every time someone else touched Eren. His heart needed to stop fluttering every time Eren smiled. His heart needed to stop pounding when Eren looked at him. 

 

“Eren!” Lei called, cursing his vice for cracking. Eren came up and started hooking up the strings to his belt when he cursed as the string wouldn’t go through.

 

Levi rolled his eyes as he moved forward, bent down and grabbed the string from his hand. Eren’s face reddened but Levi didn’t see. Levi simply threaded the string through and walked away. 

 

Levi closed his eyes as he waited for Eren to finish getting set up. He almost took him and. He was so close, he could feel the heat of Eren’s breath on his hair. Levi subconsciously threaded his finger through his hair where Eren’s breath had been.

 

He waited a few more moments until Eren was done and pulled him up. Unlike the others who had wobbled the smallest bit, he didn’t even move, just stood in one position completely still. Levi raised an eyebrow, even  _ he _ couldn’t do that. 

 

Levi pulled him down and everyone cheered, Levi clapped softly. “Congratulations, Jaeger. Not everyone can stayed statue still one these.”  

 

Was it just LEvi’s imagination or did Eren’s face turn pink. “T-thanks, Captain.’ Eren stuttered out and Levi’s heart clenched.

 

This needed to stop. 

 

Levi cleared his throat and nodded at Eren who was and tackled by Mikasa. “EREN! That was awesome, ‘kay? All i can do is stay a little in space but you just froze. Awesome!” 

 

Levi’s heart stopped. And it started pounding really fast.  _ Get your hands off him _ he thought. 

 

Mikasa smiled softly and leaned forward and kissed Eren.

 

Right on the lips.

 

Levi’s heart raced crazily in jealousy. He turned away and stormed to the building. 

 

“Captain?” He heard Sasha call out but he ignored her and picked up speed.

 

Once LEvi was inside, he punched the wall, cursing Mikasa’s name over and over again. This wasn’t fair, he couldn’t go on like this anymore. He just, he was done. 

 

He loved Eren but he knew Eren loved Mikasa and that Mikasa loved Eren. they were ute together, happy. Besides, Levi had embarrassed Eren in front of everyone and beat almost all his life out of him. 

 

Who would love someone like him? 

 

It was settled. He needed to get away. Away from here, away from Eren. Away from the  _ pain _ that his  _ love _ was giving him. 

 

Levi fell to the ground, head in hands, tears streaming when he heard a soft voice. 

 

“Captian?’’


	4. Chapter 4

Levi looked up to the owner of the voice, terrified someone caught him crying. He looked up to see Eren in front of him. 

 

“Jaeger! Shouldn’t you be with the others?” Levi tried to sound stern but his voice cracked and he was breathless from crying. 

 

“Levi, why were you crying?” Eren asked. Levi stiffened. “That’s none of your concern.” 

 

Eren frowned and sat next to Levi who simply turned. This wasn’t like Levi, he had never really been okay with “feelings.” and now he was here crying in a hallway and Eren wanted to know why.

 

“Levi.” Eren said softly. “Please tell me.” Levi simply turned away from him. “I’m thinking of transferring to work outside the walls permantly.” Levi answered, followed by a sharp intake of breathe.

 

Eren froze.  _ What? _ He thought.  _ Levi was leaving? _ “No, you can’t.” Eren stuttered out. Levi turned to him, courage regained. 

 

“I have to! You wouldn’t understand anyways. You’re just a kid.” Levi growled out, standing up. 

 

“Why do you hate me?” Eren asked quietly. Levi looked at him. “What?” he asked, surprised by the question. 

 

“WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!?!” Eren yelled, looking up at Levi. Levi’s eyes widened as he looked at the Titan-Shifter. 

 

“I don--i don’t hate you.” Levi said, bending down again to look at Eren.  _ just the oppisite, _ Levi thought. 

 

“Of course you do. I’m a titan, something we all want to kill. You call me a brat. I get in the way. Why wouldn’t you hate me?” Eren spat out, glaring at his hands which were resting o his lap.

 

Levi rested his hand on Eren’s shoulder. “I don’t hate you. i --” Levi stopped, his eyes widening. 

 

_ I almost said it. _ Levi thought. Eren looked up. “You want?’’ He asked and Levi scoffed. “I don’t hate you.” and Levi stood up, frowning again. “But, i’m still going. I can’t take it here anymore for reasons you’ll never understand.”

 

Eren stood up fast and slammed his hand against the wall, not enough pain to turn him titan though. “WHY DO YO KEEP SAYING THAT!!! I’M NNOT A FRIGGIN’ KID!” Eren yelled. “I’LL UNDERSTAND!!! Just, please. Tell me.” Eren looked at the ground now and Levi stiffened.

 

“Eren, i---’’


	5. Last chapie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah, i don't reall ship EreRi anymore but i had to finish so come read!

"I--” Levi cursed himself as he fell to the floor next to Eren. Before he could talk himself out of it, he pulled Eren’s face close to his and before their lips touched, he froze. 

“I love you brat.” Levi breathed onto Eren’s lips and closed the space between them. The lips were connected for a few moments until Levi pulled back.

“That’s why i’m leaving.” Levi said and stood up, trying to walk away when Eren grabbed his leg. Levi looked down at his leg to see Eren looking up at his, some tears dried on his cheeks. 

‘And you’re leaving why?” Eren asked. “I love you too Levi. and i’m not letting you just leave like that.” Levi inhaled slowly before looking at the german. “Eren, no one else will see this rlationship as anything but wrong. We’re nineteen years apart, you’re a titan shifter, we’re both guys.” Levi rubbed the sides of his head. 

“Brat, i love you. I really do. But i have to go. This is childish realtionship that can’t happen.” LEvi turned to walk away but Eren grabbed his skirt thing. “Levi!” Eren yelled, tears falling down his face. “I love you. Please don’t go. Everyone i’ve loved leaves. Please stay! If you leave, i don’t think i’d be able to live anymore. PLEASE DON’T GO!” Eren yelled, tears falling down his face non-stop.

Levi’s eyes widened as he bent down and wrapped the younger boy in an embrace. “Shut up, brat. I would like Erwin to not question me further thanks.” “No, i’ll scream and yell and shout if you go.” Eren said, pulling back to look at Levi.

“Oh god, Jean was right, you are stubborn.” Levi said, eyes darting around. “I have to leave, you don’t understand how wrong this is, or how this will affect our fighting or your titan abilities. You’re to young to ever understand it.” 

Eren frowned and looked at Levi. “What, how is this wrong.” Eren asked. Levi sighed, leaning back to sit on the gound with Eren.

“I’m 34, you’re 15.” Levi said, tapping on a finger.

“I’m male, you’re male.” He taped another finger.

“I’m commander controlling you, you’re a titan we still don’t know the motives of.” 

“IDON’T HAVE MOTIVES!” Eren yelled, eyes wide. “And why should our gender matter? JEan and MArco dated.” he pointed out. Levi point ed at him. “Another pouint, how will it affeect your fighting. You saw how JEan was afer Marco died. Which is why, no.” Levi stood up but Eren pulled his leg. Literally.

 

“Please, just…. Give me a chance, please.” Eren looked up at Levi, eye wide and full of tears. LEvi pressed his lips together before leanig down. 

“Fine.”

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont ship EreRi anymore, like at all, i ship EreMin all the way, it's so cute, and fluffy and pure, and like, EREN RISKED GETTING EATEN---NO HE DID GET EATEN-TO SAVE ARMIN. SHUWEGHKDSBJKEWJKSDBKDS


End file.
